We're Just Like You, Only Prettier

Okay, so who isn't surprised that I picked up a book called We're Just Like You, Only Prettier: Confessions of a Tarnished Southern Belle? Because it really didn't surprise me. It's got all the things I love in a non-fiction book. Southern-ness, confessions, and sarcasm.

Anyway, it's by Celia Rivenbark, and it's 270 pages of hilarity.

Want to know about how to become white trash, "the change", and which kind of plumber you really want? Ask Celia. She'll tell you all about, then make you laugh with her Southern stories. And yes, you can literally hear her accent when it comes to the whole tone of the book. I love it.

Anyway, hilarious. Read it. Oh, and since it has the word "confession" in the title, and is a non-fiction book, I'm totally counting it as a memoir. So there.

The Sweet Potato Queens' Book of Love

I found this book at work, and it was intriguing. Especially because the Sweet Potato Queens have a whole bunch of books out, and this is the very first. It's written by Jill Conner Browne, the creator of the Sweet Potato Queens.

Did I mention this is nonfiction?

Okay, here's where it get fun. The Sweet Potato Queens are a group of women who live in Mississippi. They are true Southern Women. One day, Jill decided she wanted to be a queen. It didn't matter of what, she just wanted to be one. She knew a guy who owned a sweet potato farm, so she offered to be the Queen every year. He never got back to her, but she (and some friends) decided to declare themselves Sweet Potato Queens. They also decided to throw their town's very first Saint Patrick's Day Parade. The entire parade consisted of the Queens riding around in the back of a truck, wear green ball gowns and waving. Well, it somehow caught on.

And now, in Jackson, Mississippi, they do this every year. It's actually turned into a pretty big thing, I guess (maybe I'll do that next year...).

But in the book, Jill talks about all the things you need to know to be a Sweet Potato Queen (though you can't actually become one...you have to be a Wannabe first, and then a Queen has to die or move away).

Things like The Promise (which I can't talk about, because this is a family-friendly blog, but if you want to know, let me know and I'll totally tell you... lindy [at] anovelbeat [dot] com), the Best Advice Ever Given ("Be particular"), the 5 kinds of men you need in your life (and 4 of them can be gay), recipes for the most fattening food on the planet, and why trashy lingere is actually a good thing.

No kidding, I laughed out loud reading this. And now I pine to be a Sweet Potato Queen (though, I'm probably too young, and have no desire to move to Jackson, Mississippi anytime soon, even if I can spell Mississippi without have to look it up).

4 snowflakes for rocking my world.

Plum Spooky

I have mentioned that if you ever need a pick-me-up, you should read something by Janet Evanovich, right? Her books are seriously laugh-out-loud funny.

Anyway, Plum Spooky is her latest. It's part of the Stephanie Plum, Bounty Hunter series, but this one is a Between-the-Numbers book (the regular books all have numbers in the title...One for the Money, Two for the Dough, Twelve Sharp, Fearless Fourteen etc...), but there are a handful of Between-the-Numbers books.

The main thing about the non-numbered books? They always have Diesel, and he's always chasing some weird bad guy. I'm so serious. This time, it's Wulf, who is trying to build and evil weather machine.

But the book is awesomely funny. I laughed out loud more than once. Steph is pet-sitting a monkey named Carl, Diesel has moved in until Wulf is taken care of, and Joe has taken in one of the many Morelli men for the duration of the book. Stephanie only destroys 1 car in this book (which isn't really her fault...she left it sitting out in the woods and raccoons took it over). Lula and Tank are, well, Lula and Tank (they set a wedding date, which is scary, then break-up over Tank's cats. The man has cats).

Ranger kind of hovers in the background and provides backup (because he's Ranger), and tells Steph that she shouldn't be hanging around with Diesel, because he's a bad guy (like Ranger has any room to talk there!)

Anyway, I really enjoyed it.

Lean Mean Thirteen

Lean Mean Thirteen is the thirteenth novel in Janet Evanovich's Stephanie Plum series. Man...I bet guessing where it was was tough.

Anyway, have mentioned lately how much I like these books, right? Because I do. They're fun and funny and just a trip.

In this one, Stephanie's ex-husband (Dickie) goes missing. Since Steph attacked him the day before he went missing, she's at the top of the suspect list.

Of course, then all the other people associated with Dickie's law firm start showing up dead, and she's suddenly not nearly as worried about being framed for murder as actually into the investigation.

And she has to move in with Ranger while Joe is working. I love it when she has to live with Ranger.

And Tank gets shot. I swear, the more Steph hangs out at RangeMan, the more dangerous it gets.

And I did mention how much I love Ranger and Joe, right? Because they're freaking awesome.

Bowled Over

I just finished Bowled Over, the 6th and latest book by Kasey Michaels, starring Maggie Kelly.

What you need to know about these books? You absolutely cannot start with number six. You have to read number one (Maggie Needs an Alibi) first. After that, go to town. Read what's handy. But you have to read it first.

Maggie is just your average, everyday, neurotic New York Times best selling Regency-Era romance writer living in New York when the series starts.

That is, until her hero, Alexandre Blake aka the Viscount Saint Just aka Alex Blakely, and his Watson-esque sidekick, Sterling Balder, show up on her doorstep.

In this sixth book, Maggie is going home for Christmas, but staying with her father in his bachelor pad while her mother's condo (only a block away) is taken over by siblings and their friends.

But when Maggie's dad is accused of killing a man, Maggie and Alex once again have to solve the crime and save the day (as they have for the last 5 books).

The great part about these books? Aside from being over the top and rather hilarious, they are almost a mete-novel. This book, in fact, has about 3 chapters devoted to the meta-novel. Talking about the killer, of course, and why he's doing what he's doing. It's fun, and funny, in a really odd way.

Anyway, as much as I'd love to say that it's perfect and amazing, it's not. I guessed the motive well into the book (though I thought someone else was the killer, apparently they at least had that right).

And...how did Maggie buy a 4 story house at such a "great price"? There has got to be a catch (and no new Maggie books on the horizon), I'm curious.

And this whole evolving thing? Weird. Though appreciative (because KM almost waited too long to get Alex and Maggie together) to see the characters grow, (a) the whole concept is weird and kind of hard to wrap your mind around (though, there is always "Stranger Than Fiction"), it's also (b) annoying to see how perfect Alex is. Grey hair is a mean (albeit fun) way to show him evolving.

The Spellman Files

Ok, so I heard about this one from my mother. The Spellman Files is the first of the series by Lisa Lutz. Curse of the Spellmans is second, and the third is coming out next March (Revenge of the Spellmans).

Let me just tell you...hilarious. So funny.

It's about a family (the Spellmans) who are PI's. Well, all of them except David.

Let me explain. There's Olivia, the mother who hates dentists (for good reason). Al is the ex-policeman-turned-PI. David is their oldest son, and he's "perfect" who's a lawyer. Isabel (out heroine and the one who tells the story) is the "problem child" who didn't attend college but stayed with the family business. Rae is the youngest, and the product of having two much older siblings. There's also Uncle Ray, who's an unabashed nut and addictive...well, everything.

Anyway, it's so funny. Izzy starts dating a dentist (and, I know he's Guatemalan, but when he says he's a dentist, I always think of the elf from Rudolph the Red-nosed reindeer), but she tells him she's a schoolteacher. Not a PI.

And such follows the madness of the wars between Ray and Rae, between Izzy and her parents, between Izzy and Rae, and watching David pay off his little sister.

Until, that is, Izzy gets caught up in a 12 year old missing persons case, and Rae goes missing.

Then they meet Inspector Henry Stone.

Did I mention some of Izzy's odd character flaws? She's addicted to old episodes of "Get Smart" (I'm wondering how she felt about the movie...), keeps track of her ex-boyfriends by listing their names, their professions, and what their last words are. Oh, and she prefers to enter by a window instead of by the door.

Numbers 6 and 9 need explained, but it's funny.

Oh, and privacy? Completely overrated in other people, but utterly necessary in your private life. Without it, madness occurs.

Long, Hot Summoning

The third (and final) book in Tanya Huff's Keeper series, it focuses more on Diana, the little sister, than Claire.

While I can appreciate the transition, I liked Claire.

Anyway, this time, Hell is trying to take over from the local mall. Yeah, it seems like it would be weird and cliched, but the way they use the cliches (and I mean every freaking cliche Tanya can think of) is absolutely hilarious.

Including (but not limited to) the archetypal Arthur, the evilness of minivans, teens stuck in the mall a la "Mallrats" (and becoming elves?!?), and the two cats. Oh, did I mention the mummy that's trying to suck the life out of Dean, hence upsetting Claire? And the really annoying human albatross that Claire has to deal with...

And! Every woman who sees Dean hitting on him?!? And he's so innocent!

The books are so funny.

Be aware...girl on girl action (kissing). Just a head's up. Diana is a lesbian.

Summon the Keeper

Summon the Keeper is the first is a three part sci-fi trilogy by Tanya Huff. I read all 3 my first year of college (I think...), and haven't since. So, since I was home and bored with the books I had, I decided to pick these up again.

They star a keeper named Claire, a woman who basically helps protects the world from evil. Her cat, Austin, comes along and helps.

In this first book, she meets Dean, a guy so nice that Hell can't tempt him. And when I say Hell, I mean that in the basement of the hotel he works in (and sleeps in), there is a vortex to hell that talks (in all block letters...?), trying to have people give in to temptation.

It's a good thing there's a nice, attractive, Keeper around to take care of that hole to Hell.

It's a funny series. Not to be taken too seriously (it is sci-fi), but just funny.

Plus, it has a talking cat, and a hound from hell. And an annoying, sex-obsessed ghost. What's not to love?

Two for the Dough

Two for the Dough is the second in the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich.

Here, Stephanie is chasing down Kenny Mancuso, Joe's cousin. He turns out to be crazy, and working with Spiro, the undertaker's son.

This is also the one where Steph burns down the funeral home and leaves Joe naked in a parking lot after a rather heavy session in the back of the Buick. Oh, wait...not naked. She gives him his gun back first.

Anyway, it's full of all the things we love about Stephanie. Madness, an inability to actually get anything done, bumbling around just happening on everything. There's a severe lack of Ranger in this book, but as of yet, he's more a side character than a main player.

She and Joe aren't involved yet at this point either, so there's a lot of sexual tension...

Wait, this is a Stephanie Plum novel. There's always sexual tension. Part of why we love it.

Okay. That's what I've got.

Fearless Fourteen

I just read Janet Evanovich's Fearless Fourteen, the most recent in the Stephanie Plum, bounty hunter series.

What you need to know about these books (One for the Money, Two for the Dough, Three to Get Deadly, Four to Score, High Five, Hot Six, Seven Up, Hard Eight, To the Nines, Ten Big Ones, Eleven on Top, Twelve Sharp, Lean Mean Thirteen, and Fearless Fourteen) is that they are are hilarious.

Laugh out loud funny. There aren't a lot of books that I laugh out loud with (I'm a bit of a cynic, in case you hadn't noticed), but I usually do with these books.

More recently they've been hit and miss, but this one was pretty good. Lots of sexual innuendo, which is always fun. Tank fainted (Tank!), Lula got engaged (to Tank!), and Mooner has a potato gun. A potato gun. It was too funny.

You can probably pick this one up and not be too lost, though some of it you will be. It's easy to pick up, but you might feel like you're missing some of the finer points of the history.

Anyway, I'm a fan. Very nice, JE, very nice.